Never trust men in dark helmets. It really isn’t necessary to be fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. When all else fails….jump! Sometimes, you’ve just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal. If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you. Always check the background of people you want to get intimately
We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts. I find your lack of pants disturbing. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it. Han will have those
For all the yipping Admiral Motti does about his station being the “ultimate power in the universe,” certain aspects of the Death Star’s construction leave a lot to be desired. Indeed, on several occasions the Death Star’s sinister engineers seemingly made it one of their design specifications to make things as dangerous as possible. Consider
YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great. VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side. LUKE: Crossing the road is one thing, this is…. totally different. LUKE: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my father. LEIA: I don’t know… but I
“My Mom (and/or Dad) fought at the Battle of (Yavin/Hoth/Endor) and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” “Have you hugged a wookie today?” “I’m with stupid” (With arrow pointing to Jabba) “My astromech went to the Death Star and all I got were the lousy Technical Schematics” “Emperor’s slugs need love too”
My Jedi brat can beat up your honors student I survived the Battle of Endor Palpatine, save me from your followers My other starship is an SSD Visit Scenic Beggars Canyon Jedi Master on board — please fly carefully Support your local stormtrooper — buy Imperial Max Rebo Tour ’99 [or whatever year it is]
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)Star Wars Character : The Emperor The Emperor has demonstrated his liking to inflict pain on people just as people born under the sign Aries often do. He feels he is at the center of the universe and he must be in control. He enjoys being a leader and his
He saved Luke’s life about a bazillion times He’s cool He helped destroy 3, count em’, 3 Death Stars (Read the books!) He eats TIE fighters for breakfast He’s cool He has that stylish orange flight jump suit “Look at the size of that thing!” He’s cool He can topple an AT-AT in his sleep
10). In the Star Wars universe, weapons rarely, if ever, are set on “stun.” 9). The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp. The Millennium Falcon does the same thing with just R2-D2 and a Wookie. 8). After resisting the Imperial torture
A New Hope ‘She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.’ ‘Curse my metal body, I wasn’t fast enough!’ ‘Look at the size of that thing!’ ‘Sorry about the mess…’ ‘You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.’ ‘Aren’t you a little short for a Stormtrooper?’ ‘You’ve
New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself. The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba’s big brother, Pizza the Hut. Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.Jabba the Butt-head saying, “Hehe…hehe…she said, ‘Lay ya.’” During one lonely night, Princess Lea finds R2D2’s special attachment. Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint.
10). Storm-troopers are the Empire’s first line of defense. 9). All ships and installations are built around a “main reactor.” 8). Exhaust ports are big enough for proton torpedoes and always lead to the “main reactor”. 7). TIE Fighters have no shields. 6). The Emperor’s best troops were defeated by rock and stick wielding teddy