Why the Chicken Crossed the Road… In the Words of the Star Wars Characters

Never trust men in dark helmets. It really isn’t necessary to be fluent in over 6 million forms of communication. When all else fails….jump! Sometimes, you’ve just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal. If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you. Always check the background of people you want to get intimately

We’ve got to be able to get some reading on those pants, up or down. The pants may not look like much, kid, but they’ve got it where it counts. I find your lack of pants disturbing. These pants contain the ultimate power in the Universe. I suggest we use it. Han will have those

For all the yipping Admiral Motti does about his station being the “ultimate power in the universe,” certain aspects of the Death Star’s construction leave a lot to be desired. Indeed, on several occasions the Death Star’s sinister engineers seemingly made it one of their design specifications to make things as dangerous as possible. Consider

“My Mom (and/or Dad) fought at the Battle of (Yavin/Hoth/Endor) and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” “Have you hugged a wookie today?” “I’m with stupid” (With arrow pointing to Jabba) “My astromech went to the Death Star and all I got were the lousy Technical Schematics” “Emperor’s slugs need love too”

My Jedi brat can beat up your honors student I survived the Battle of Endor Palpatine, save me from your followers My other starship is an SSD Visit Scenic Beggars Canyon Jedi Master on board — please fly carefully Support your local stormtrooper — buy Imperial Max Rebo Tour ’99 [or whatever year it is]