One-Point Gags
· Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
· In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out “Yahtzee!”
· Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”
· Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
· Run one lap around the office at top speed.
· To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
· Walk sideways to the photocopier.
· When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!”
· While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Three-Point Gags
· Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
· Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
· Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
· Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
· Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Five-Point Gags
· After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, “The report’s on your desk, mon”. Keep this up for one hour.
· Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do number two.”
· At lunch time get down on your knees and announce “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
· At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
· Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “Ya wanna trade?”
· Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
· Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
· For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as ‘Bob’.
· Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
· In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am “See how I look in tights.”
· In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
· Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:
“Do you hear that?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now”
· Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, “not now” and walk away.
· Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
· While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
· While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.