10) Making prank “heavy breathing” phone calls. 9) Sneaking up behind Star Destroyer crew members, covering their eyes, and demanding “Guess who?”. 8) Practicing throwing Palpatine doll down pits. 7) Genealogy. 6) Using the force to learn to juggle. 5) Mortal Kombat 5436. 4) Using mind-reading ability to win at Battleship. 3) Late nights with
Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?A: Because they are plugged into a genius. Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?A: They don’t have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?A: They won’t stop for directions. Q: Why did God put men on earth?A: Because a vibrator can’t
Q. Do you know what the square root of 69 is?A. Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx….) Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?A. A good thing screwed up by a period. Q. Did you hear about the new “morning after” pill for men?A. It changes their blood type. Q. What do Lifesavers do that a man
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s
The Forest Service has issued a BEAR WARNING in the national forests for this summer. They’re urging everyone to protect themselves by wearing bells and carrying pepper spray. Campers should be alert for signs of fresh bear activity, and they should be able to tell the difference between Black Bear dung and Grizzy Bear dung.
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder
One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, “If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term: “Is Hell exothermic [gives off heat] or endothermic [absorbs heat]? Support your answer with a proof.” Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” After landing: “Thank you for
Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year-old white male resident of Wilmington, NC, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to
When you pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force. When you get jealous of Luke because his light saber is double the size of yours. You found this page with intentions of locating the Star Wars “greek” club. You would love to have Frank Oz stick his hand